Departure
by Anderling
Summary: One-shot. What exactly went through Mello's head when he was told L died? And what happened between storming out of Roger's office and leaving Wammy's for good? Rating because of the series, Mello/Matt if you squint.


**_AUTHOR'S NOTES_: Yeah, yeah, I know. Wolf Girl To Vampire. Thing is, the computer I'd saved three chapters on died, taking said chapters with it. So I'm going to give up and say it's completed, rather than attempting to type it all again.  
Anyways. Three cheers for my first Death Note fanfic! Hurrah! I don't know where the hell this came from, though. One second I was staring at a blank MS Word document trying to figure out what I was going to do with it, the next, I went, "What the heck, I'll just write a Death Note thingamy." Cue Mello! I rather like how this turned out, considering it probably wasn't what I was going to write and that it got me a massive headache trying to get the words and the ages right. (Fun fact: One Manga is your best friend.)  
Anyways, enjoy!**

* * *

"What's wrong, Roger?" I asked, checking my memory for what I'd done to end up in his office.  
I was confused. _I_ was here for my behavior, of course. I wasn't expecting to stay out of trouble for demolishing the soccer goal all the kids at Wammy's shared, or for putting a tablet with green dye in the showers in several rooms. (I'd tried denying it, but everyone knew I was the only kid who'd stoop to that.) But why was _Near_ here? Wammy's model orphan, always polite, got straight A's, never even considered putting a toe out of line. Maybe I'd done something to him? No, not recently...  
Roger looked at me for a second, then Near. It was almost as if he was trying to see how we'd react to... well, whatever he was going to tell us. There was about a minute of silence before Roger told us, "L is dead."  
Several emotions spinned through my head then.  
At first, there was merely surprise; this wasn't what I was expecting. I thought I was in trouble for my behavior, as usual. Roger hated kids, and I was merely the most annoying one. What was he _saying_, then?  
Then, confusion. L was... dead? Impossible! He'd been working on a dangerous case, yes, but dead? Dead-dead, not just an act?  
I found myself unable to speak. My mouth was open, as if I was shouting, but not even a sigh escaped my lips.  
"...dead! Bu- but how?!" I gasped when I regained my voice.  
Roger was silent, staring at a point on his desk. Near merely put the last piece of his puzzle into place.  
"Do – do you mean he was killed by Kira? Is that it?" I demanded, my voice getting a bit shriller. It had the tendency to do that when I was upset.  
"Most likely, yes," Roger replied calmly, not even looking up.  
Before I noticed it myself, I'd already grabbed the collar of Roger's shirt, demanding an answer. "You mean he was going to get Kira the death penalty and now... he's dead?" I shouted. "Is that what you're telling me!?"  
"...Mello..." Roger said, seeming startled at my actions.  
In the corner of my eye, I noticed Near moving. He picked up the puzzle he'd just finished, then turned it around, letting all the pieces fall to the ground. In the silence that followed, he placed the mold of the puzzle on the ground again. "If you can't win the game..." he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. Going for the dramatic effect, as usual, the damn kid. "If you can't solve the puzzle..." He started putting the puzzle pieces into place again. "...then you're just a loser."  
Damn him! The person so many had idolised, worshipped even, and the person who'd considered him an apprentice was dead and all he cared about was an effing puzzle?! I just wanted to place my hands around his neck and strangle him! I briefly considered that thought; Near was faster than me, but I was stronger, so if I just managed to get my hands on him... I let that train of thought stop right there. I wasn't going to beat him by getting into jail for murder.  
I turned back to Roger. In the minute that passed between Near talking, no one had spoken. "So, L, between me and Near, who did he...?" I asked Roger.  
"I'm afraid," Roger sighed, "he hadn't chosen yet, Mello. And now he's dead, you see." The old man paused, considering. "Mello, Near... How about you both work together..."  
..._what_? Did I hear that right? Stupid old man, asking the two people in the entire orphanage least likely to get along, _ever_, to cooperate. I'd like to see us try! As usual, Near's ability to solve cases would overshadow mine, no matter how much I did. Even if I would solve a case on my own, Near would take the credit for it, leaving me to feel content with the "Try harder, Mello, someday you'll be just as good at this thing as Near!" I didn't want to be just as good, I wanted to be _better_ than him, to finally get some recognition for what I did rather than being the second-best for the rest of my life.  
Roger looked up from his desk, scanning my face for my reaction to his question. I took a brief moment to consider what he saw. Anger; Disgust; Horror. Near, however, did not seem to share my opinion.  
"Yes, agreed," he said quietly, not bothering to look up from his puzzle. Stupid albino. Was he honestly that stupid? No one could be hated like this and be utterly _oblivious_ to it, damn it!  
I bit my lip, then gave keeping my voice level a good try, rather than exploding in rage and letting everyone in a five-mile radius hear the sound of my voice. "Impossible, Roger! You know that Near and I don't get along. We've always been rivals..." Well, that was putting it mildly. "Listen, Roger..." I said, casting a glance at Near from the corner of my eye. "Near will be the one to succeed L. Unlike me, he'll do the job calmly, without emotion, like he solves a puzzle."  
As if to prove my point, Near finished his puzzle for the second time within three minutes.  
I growled in frustration, then turned and walked to the door. "I'm leaving! From the institute too!"  
"Mello!" Roger cried, shocked. I was willing to bet that he'd never seen anything like it, a child walking out on his own from Wammy's House. Then again, I wasn't like the other children.  
"Roger... do whatever you want. I'll be fifteen in no time, after all." I pulled open the door. "I'll live out my own way!" I shouted before slamming the door. I hoped it got stuck.

* * *

My fist made contact twice with the wall of the room I shared with Matt, loudly. The wall gave way a little bit, first leaving a dent before it gave way, leaving a fist-shaped hole in the faded blue paint.  
"Damn it!" I growled.  
I heard someone make a frightened little sound before running off. Well, at least that person wasn't going to bother me. I didn't feel like being bothered as I tossed shoes, underwear, clothes and the like in a duffel bag, taking only the essentials. I refused to collapse on my first day being on my own because I took too much things. Although, come to think of it, I didn't even own enough things to manage that, so what the hell was I worried about?  
"Mello?" someone asked, opening the creaky old door.  
I looked up, distracted. Matt was standing there in the doorway, half-turned to the hallway as if he was debating whether or not to make a run for it. (I didn't blame him; even though I was only fourteen, I was strong enough to take on most of the kids here.) He seemed uncertain whether or not to talk to me or let me continue packing. Perfect. The last memory my best friend in the entire building had of me was punching a hole in the wall.  
"What're you doing?" Matt asked after a second or so, in which he waited to make sure I wasn't going to vent my anger on something other than the wall – specifically, him.  
I rolled my eyes and crammed another pair of trousers in my duffel bag before replying, "What does it look like, Matt? I'm leaving." I crammed some socks into the bag (which was getting pretty full by now) before asking, "Who told you I was here, anyways?"  
"Iris told me she heard you. She said it sounded like one of us would have to go without non-broken furniture for a while."  
"Close enough..." I mumbled, my eyes flickering towards the hole in the wall.  
Matt carefully assessed my mood before demanding, "What the hell is wrong, Mello?"  
I froze, my hands lingering on one of the drawers of an old cupboard, biting my lip. After a second or so, I replied, "L is dead."  
The silence was almost tangible. After a while, I started counting the seconds as Matt tried to wrap his head around it. I'd gotten to two hundred and sixty-one when Matt finally broke the silence. "What happened then?" he wondered. "You can't possibly be leaving just because L died, right?"  
"No, that's not it." I had decided that I'd packed enough stuff to last me and was now attempting to get the bag closed. "The reason why I'm moving out is because Roger suggested that Near and I work together."  
Matt gasped slightly. "He said that?" he asked, sounding incredulous.  
"Yeah, he did. The little bastard agreed with it, too." I scowled at nothing in particular, grabbed my coat from the closet, pulled it on and flung the duffel bag onto my back. "I've got everything I need; I'm leaving. I can fend for myself."  
I turned, then marched – well, that's what it must have looked like – out of the room, head held high.  
"Wait!" Matt called, walking after me. Persistent, as always. "Mello, don't do this. You don't have to leave just because Roger tells you to cooperate with Near. Where are you going to sleep at night, anyways?"  
"I'll sleep on the street, if I have to."  
"What're you going to eat?"  
"I'll think of something."  
"What if someone starts threatening to kill you?"  
"You know as well as I do that everyone here knows some form of self-defense."  
We were getting closer to the front door now, close enough to see through the glass walls that ran along the door for a few yards for decorative purposes. It was raining. Irony, ahoy! Yet another dramatic _I'm leaving!_ scene in the pouring rain, like the world and Wammy didn't have enough of those already.  
"Don't go?" Matt finally asked, grabbing my arm and turning me around to face him. "It's going to be quiet here without you, you know."  
I suddenly noticed that Matt's eyes were getting teary, realising with mild shock that his only friend at Wammy's ever was leaving now and the kid was only thirteen. Sighing, I put one hand on his head, ruffling his red hair.  
"C'mon, don't go teary-eyed on me," I told him. "I promise, I'll be here to pick you up as soon as you become fifteen."  
"You're just saying that," Matt mumbled.  
"I'm not," I snapped. "I have to go my own way for a bit, but I'll be back. Scout's honor – or whatever the Mello-equivalent to that is."  
Matt half-smiled. "Sure. Anyways, I'd like you to have something." He patted his pockets slightly before finally finding what he was looking for. He grabbed into his pocket before pulling something out something and dropping it in my hands. I tugged at it to unravel whatever Matt had given me and suddenly realised what it was.  
I snorted. "Be serious – you're giving a rosary to _me_ of all people?"  
Matt shrugged. "To keep you safe or something. I was going for a reason less cliché, but this works, and it's true."  
I smiled. "Thanks. Anyways..." I hoisted the duffel bag onto my back and patted Matt's red hair one last time. "Take care, kid."  
And with that, I walked out the doors of the orphanage where I'd spent most of my childhood, vowing to fulfill my goal – to catch Kira where L had failed – and my promise, to come for Matt when he grew up. Probably following every single cliché to the letter while doing so.

* * *

**Many, many thanks to the amazing Ben, for getting me addicted to Death Note (I still hate you for that! -kicks-) and for Beta-ing this fanfic without even noticing. Luff you!  
Also, endless amounts of gratitude towards Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata for writing and drawing this amazing series.  
Rate and Review, please. It really makes my day!**


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